sturmbahnfuhrer: (Well hey there)
[personal profile] sturmbahnfuhrer
A. Phone

My fellow citizens, it is my, ah, fine duty to inform all of you that the town has seen fit to make me a police officer in its service. I will, of course, due my best to serve and protect all of my peers in town.

[The utter amusement the Major feels while saying all of this is relatively clear in his voice. For those who don't know him, they might simply think the man is in a good mood. For those who do know him?

They probably realize the cruelty lying right underneath the words.]


For those who are new to the town, as it would appear to be that time of the month, welcome! As much of a cage as this town might be, there are still far worse cages yet, and the town has a tendency to....keep us entertained, I should say! As for myself, I am the Major. If you have any questions about the town, need any assistance, perhaps, please. Feel free to ask. It's my duty, after all, to assist.

[Even more amusement, then, that time he says duty.]

B. Around Town

[If you're walking around today, you'll find the Major in uniform. No, not his usual Nazi regalia, but the actual police uniform he's chosen to wear. He hardly has any intention of wearing the damn thing all the time. But by God, he's hoping it's driving in the point and pissing off the people who do know him.

Every now and again, he'll be coming up to a person. Perhaps you. And speaking.]


Good afternoon. Is all well, I hope?

[It's entertaining, he has to admit, when he does it to the drones since they so automatically know how defer respect to him. Really, he just wants to see how others react.

And if he knows you? You can bet your ass he's coming and doing this to you.]

B.

Date: 2011-09-11 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] puzzlerprince.livejournal.com
[He'd hardly believed it when he'd heard that bastard proclaim his new occupation over the phone, but now that he's actually seeing it in person...]

You aren't serious.

Date: 2011-09-11 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
My, is there a problem, Mr. Nigma?

[It's the first time The Major has referred to the Riddler as anything beyond Edward. And it's clear, by the way he rolls the name, that he doesn't mean any respect.]

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Date: 2011-09-11 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] solarhussyalert.livejournal.com
[Lym doesn't much pay attention to the strange man walking by, she's trying to figure out this book for this new school thing. Its more irritating than being tutored but, she understands sometimes you have to go with things to resist.]

This.... Is stupid. This government is dumb.

[She slams the book shut and rubs her temples]

Date: 2011-09-11 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[My my. That's quite a dissenting little voice. Though, he does grin at the statement as he turns around to look at the girl.]

Governments most often are quite dumb. How might you have discovered such, young lady?

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A

Date: 2011-09-11 09:09 pm (UTC)
headedforhope: (those of us not asleep subdued to mark)
From: [personal profile] headedforhope
[LISTENS....

a disbelieving scoffing sound]

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B - Walking on the sidewalk.

Date: 2011-09-11 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heartstar-blues.livejournal.com
[Sees the cop and frowns at the approaching man.

Great, another fat cop.]


Hey, pudgy, you're new to lap dog gig so I am going to give you a word of advice.

Stay the ☠☠☠☠ out of my way. Got it?

Date: 2011-09-11 09:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[The Major just smiles, raising an eyebrow in entertainment.]

Dear me sir.

Are you drunk?

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B

Date: 2011-09-11 09:10 pm (UTC)
miraculous: (those who call me AVATAR)
From: [personal profile] miraculous
A bit boring, but well enough.

[She obviously makes note of the uniform, but is rather impassive.

Of course, she nearly always is.]

Date: 2011-09-11 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[The Major shrugs a bit, still smirking.]

I would not have chosen it myself if the town hadn't...seen fit to press it upon me.

Although, I wouldn't fret.

It won't remain boring for long.

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B.

Date: 2011-09-11 09:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coolbowtie.livejournal.com
You look terrible. Awful, completely stupid. I suggest a diet. Not that it can fix everything. But it could be an improvement.

[Wearing the same uniform.]

Date: 2011-09-11 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[Simply preening the cuffs of the uniform shirt, tsking a little.]

Oh my did we not have a long enough nap today? Don't worry. I'm sure they'll excuse you if you choose to simply ignore your position due to how important you are.

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Date: 2011-09-11 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doctor-tyrant.livejournal.com
The Major? So, you are a military man. It's certainly comforting that this town has standards for its keepers of peace.

[A soft chuckle escapes the Doctor's lips.]

1/2

Date: 2011-09-11 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[A pause. And then?

Just laughter. Hysterically, rambunctious laughter.]


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A.

Date: 2011-09-11 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iheartcabbage.livejournal.com
Congrats. You now have the most boring job in the world.

Date: 2011-09-11 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
Boredom is bred from a boring mind.

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b.

Date: 2011-09-11 09:20 pm (UTC)
eternalfuture: (what's over there?)
From: [personal profile] eternalfuture
[Usagi...a dutiful student? No. It's less about that and more about her wanting to stay away from home as much as she could. She has a bag full of schoolbooks and a finished math assignment with her, at least. And she's trying to get home without being seen.]

Date: 2011-09-11 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[Unfortunately, the Major will probably be coming out the door when Usagi is fairly close to home, fully clothed in his officer uniform. He just stops on the porch for a moment, looking at the girl. Really, it's the first time he's seen her since the milk event.

And he just smiles. Naturally.]


Good afternoon. School is over, then?

[And, he has to admit...he wonders if she knows the significance of the uniform he's wearing today.]

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B.

Date: 2011-09-11 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
[Oh of all the psychos around to be given a badge and a gun...]

The fuck do you want, Hindenburger?

Date: 2011-09-11 09:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[Just a short laugh at that. He liked that one.]

My, I'm simply making sure the streets are peaceful and safe.

[Yes Mart. It is hard for him to say that with a straight face.]

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[action]

Date: 2011-09-11 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buildstherobots.livejournal.com
Oh... You've been promoted! Kind of.

[Poor Dist has no idea that this is actually horrible news.]

Maybe we can do joint investigations now; I didn't have any connections on the police force before.

Date: 2011-09-11 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[The Major just smiles a bit more. My. You are just so eager to get things done, aren't you Dist? Good. He needs you to stay that way.]

I suppose it should be so!

Have you found anything since we last spoke that might be worth discussing, if just out of curiosity?

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B

Date: 2011-09-11 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strike-you-out.livejournal.com
[A set of eyes follows Officer Major as he patrols the neighborhood. Slugger heard the phonecall earlier today and has been watching, but now it's time to experiment.

Somewhere ahead of the Major, glass smashes. A familiar boy with a baseball cap and warped bat is bashing in the taillights of a car parked along the street. Surely this delinquent behavior deserves some lawful intervention.]

Date: 2011-09-11 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[The Major smirks at the boy's destructive tendencies as he walks over, tsking.]

Now now. The car might be quite ugly, but that's no reason to make it uglier.

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B

Date: 2011-09-11 10:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hungry-monster.livejournal.com
[Johan doesn't seem phased at all.]

Good afternoon.

Date: 2011-09-11 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[Neither does he.]

Indeed it is. But I suppose it always is here.

All is well today, I should assume?

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B

Date: 2011-09-11 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emperorsangel.livejournal.com
[That feeling when Sanguinius walks by and doesn't spare a second glance at the uniform. Or maybe there is no feeling, who knows. But he does certainly believe he's above law enforcement here in Mayfield...then again, who's going to try to take down the eleven foot tall man with wings?]

As well as something can be, yes.

Date: 2011-09-11 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[The Major stops and looks at Sanguinius. For a moment, you would think he was paralyzed. But a second later, he quite happily strolls up to the man, not an ounce of fear in him.

Take him down? No. But the Major is still interested in what the man might be, and after having seen as much odd shit as he has? The Major forgot fear of the unknown a long time ago.]


I should suppose that's the way it is, in this town.

You've not been here long, I should think? I'm afraid I've yet to run into you before, friend.

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B.

Date: 2011-09-12 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brotherseyes.livejournal.com
[Nina might be hard to find. Johan hasn't let her out of the house much since the last time she died. Which is why he won't see her unless he happens down Hastings Boulevard, where she'll be sitting in her front yard, playing with a cat.

At the sound of his voice, though, she looks up, gathering the kitten to her. It mewls in protest at first, settling down when Nina gives it a few calming pets. Even though there's fire in her eyes, her tone is mostly neutral when she speaks to him, except for the bite lurking just under the words.]


Everything is just fine. Thank you for asking, Officer, but I'm afraid we don't require any help from you here.

[With that, she'll stand up, kitty still in her arms, and turn to go back in the house.]

Date: 2011-09-12 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[The Major just smiles a bit at the woman. Determined as ever, are we? Expected, most assuredly. And so he'll just nod and smile, not stopping her.]

Very good! Have a splendid day then!

And I trust Johan is doing well?

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B

Date: 2011-09-12 12:47 am (UTC)
encored: (Default)
From: [personal profile] encored
[he nearly answers with some vague snappish comment as his arms are full right now with bags of steaks and he just wants to get home, but then he actually catches sight of the person it's coming from and what he's wearing and almost bursts into laughter instead.]

Those in charge of the town are truly sadistic. [but there's nothing accusatory in his tone, he just finds it hilarious.....]

Date: 2011-09-12 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[The Major just smiles. Wide.]

Indeed it is! I rather find it a good joke, although it would appear quite a few don't appreciate it.

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B

Date: 2011-09-12 12:55 am (UTC)
doudemoe: (looks like a zombie)
From: [personal profile] doudemoe
Yes. Good afternoon.
Edited Date: 2011-09-12 12:56 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-09-12 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
Good afternoon as well, young man. I should think you're enjoying your day?

Well, as well as we can in this prison.

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A

Date: 2011-09-12 04:41 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-09-12 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
Tell me.

When have I ever lied?

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B 1/2

Date: 2011-09-12 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1800deadpoo.livejournal.com
OH GOD OFFICER I SWEAR SHE SAID SHE WAS EIGHTEEN --
Edited Date: 2011-09-12 06:33 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-09-12 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1800deadpoo.livejournal.com
I mean, just great! Nothing to see here, move along.

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A

Date: 2011-09-12 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miraculls.livejournal.com
Shit, that's real nice of you to offer, motherfucker. I could be using some help right now, yeah!

Date: 2011-09-12 06:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
Oh?

And what might you need help with, young man?

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B.

Date: 2011-09-12 08:24 am (UTC)
prpl_assistant: (Default)
From: [personal profile] prpl_assistant
[Miss Pauling's just minding her own business as she explores Mayfield on her first day here. However, when she spots the stout policeman walking down the road, she remembers Mr.Lithuania's warnings about the law in Mayfield. She immediately turns around and heads back the way she came, hoping that he wouldn't come after her.]

Date: 2011-09-12 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[Well. Oh my. That is quite an interesting reaction. The Major will follow behind. Not running towards her, just a casual stroll. But still following.]

I'm sorry, is there a problem miss?

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B

Date: 2011-09-12 01:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crusthatecean.livejournal.com
[Doesn't even really have a concept of what a policeman is, but just giving him an irritated glare.]

What do you want?

Date: 2011-09-12 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[The Major gives a small tsking noise at the young troll, still smiling.]

Ah ah ah. You should have more respect when addressing an officer.

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Date: 2011-09-12 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[And the Major gives a small nod in return.]

Nice day, isn't it?

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B

Date: 2011-09-12 09:34 pm (UTC)
unexculpable: (The ripple effect)
From: [personal profile] unexculpable
[frowns a bit. who are you and why are you talking to him?]

Oh, yeah. Everything's just great. [the sarcasm, do you hear it?]

Date: 2011-09-13 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sturmbahnfurher.livejournal.com
[Because he can Ed. Because. He. Can.

And oh yeah. He hears it. And just smiles.]


Are you quite certain? It sounds like something's bothering you.

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Profile

sturmbahnfuhrer: (Default)
The Major

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