sturmbahnfuhrer: (Glancing Skyward)
Because we all know he's going to hell when he dies. Just not which circle.

Test results under the cut )


Jan. 24th, 2030 06:07 pm
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Did I mention I'm Evil)
This is the HMD post for the Major. If you'd like to say something about my characterization, or there are any issues you have that you feel need to be resolved about it, please post here and we can work them out!
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Wicked Grin)
My, this is a rather delicate situation, is it not? I'm sure there are still some of you who have doubts as to the validity of whether the people here are fakes or not, but still. It would be better to be safe than sorry, would it not? Therefore, allow me to offer an ultimatum!

Give me a name and description of your loved one who has been replaced, and I will kill them.
sturmbahnfuhrer: (The Time Has Come)
Ah, it is that time again, isn't it! It would seem we've had quite the influx of new arrivals into our cage recently!

To our new friends, allow me to introduce myself! I am known simply as the Major, and I have had the good luck of being graced with a position in the police force of this town, which has provided me a bit more lee-way in what I may do in town that some others are not afforded. Because of this, if you are ever in need, I encourage you to ask for my assistance and I will do whatever I may to accommodate you! If worst comes to worst, I even invite you to seek me out at my home on 1667 Nelson Street!

That being said, if you have any questions left unanswered about your new home, I encourage you to ask them of me and I will explain the best I can.

There is, however, another matter at hand! She is not a new arrival per se, but someone who I feel I should introduce to all of you at large! A friend of mine, a dear rival, you could say, from back home has arrived! This is, I am sure or at least hope, a topic of interest to some of you! And perhaps it should be to some of you who aren't interested in it!

Her name is Sir Integra Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing, a Brigadier General of the English Army and a quite fearsome woman. While I regret that I have not spoken with her very much since her arrival or gotten reacquainted - an unfortunate case that I hope to rectify soon - I should hope that if you meet her, you show her the utmost respect as she deserves, and I welcome her most warmly to Mayfield, even if it be a month or so late.

[Filtered to Schrodinger and Rip Van Winkle, and in German]

My friends, I propose we set aside a time and date to have a holiday meal together! From what I've heard, it's quite possible the town won't be...accommodating to letting us have it during Christmas. Thus, let us think up a time where we might get together for a meal before then.
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Did I mention I'm Evil)

[The mad giggling that fills the phonelines at first is overwhelming, taking the Major a moment to compose himself. When he speaks, he sounds content. Beyond content, almost wistful. There is just no denying that, beyond anything, the man is in a good mood.]

From the day man crawled out of the stew of primal creation and onto the land, there was one thing we brought with us. And that would be our will to survive. Alongside that we brought what had been the best weapon to assure this: aggression. Man, at its core, is an aggressive being! A warrior, making tools and weapons from the very rocks and metals of the Earth, scrounging and finding new ways to innovate so they might prosper. And in their innovation, finding new ways they might kill!

Really, ever since man discovered the wonder of fire, it was a given that he should envelope the entire world in flame!

Can you not see it? The beauty of what we just left? What we saw, that outstanding desolation....that is our destiny. Our greatest work of art, our testament to the universe! Don't you get the message?

The point is that, for a moment, life existed. And then, in a moment? Life was gone.

So then. How did everyone enjoy our trip?

[Action; Locked to 1667 Nelson]

[After his phone call, the Major will be bringing the mail in before making some breakfast. He goes through the mail and, seeing his name on one of the letters, opens it. And for a moment? Just stares at the contents.

It's a picture of Integra Hellsing, aiming a gun at him, and glowering. In his mind's eye, he remembers the scene quite vividly, though he can't imagine why the town would send him a picture of-

Hey, not family? What sounds like a gunshot has just rung out through the kitchen. If you go investigate, you'll find dad with his left eye shot out and slumping on the floor, bleeding. And chuckling to himself.

Well. Looks like you got him, huh town?]
sturmbahnfuhrer: (In the Shadows)
[Action 1]

[As dawn sweeps across the blasted remains of Mayfield, you may find a short, fat man dressed entirely in white swaying through the rubble. At first, it might look like he's swaying due to injury and might fall, but he keeps reasserting himself. After a few moments, it becomes obvious he isn't hurt. Isn't injured in the least. His movements are maimed swaying, but rather practiced. Focused, in their own mad way.

Orchestrated. It's as if he's moving like a conductor would move, directing an orchestra. If you get a closer look, you'll see a mad gleam in his eyes as the Major sways to music only he can hear.

And oh. It is so beautiful.]

[Action 2]

[The mad man has finished his orchestrating and is, at the moment, gracefully moving through the rubble. It's odd, to see someone so large move so easily through a burnt-out, destroyed environment. It's horrifying to see how utterly unbothered by it.

As he goes along, he isn't shy at all about checking the pockets of those drones who weren't entirely vaporized, and looting whatever they might have. He's also not shy about simply tossing the corpse away when he's done.

He'll also be making his way to where the homes would be of fellow Kingdom members, but he's taking his sweet ass time about it.]

[Action 3]

[Hey. Are you exploring town. Just trying to survive? Maybe find your loved ones?

Well you're going to love this shit. Get ready to feel something cold, and metal, and sharp pressing against the back of your neck. And a far too happy voice speaking.]

Good day friend! If you don't mind and have a minute to spare, there's something I'd like to talk to you about.
sturmbahnfuhrer: (What's this?)
[The Major didn't think a damn think about eating mushrooms. Why should he? If this place decided it would provide produce, then he would gladly partake of it. Even if it was suspicious, he would do it in order to see what game the town might have come with this time.

He was a bit disappointed when, after a while, nothing happened. He shrugged, before stepping out of his house.

And paused as he found himself on the streets of London, near Trafalagar Square. He could see it, smell it, hear it - see the rubble and fire, smell the gunpowder and death. Hear the screams of the "innocent", of the flabby weak babes the English had produced in the generations since the last Great War.

How he had missed it. Smile widening, he walks off into town, intending to get a much better view of the battle than he had been afforded before.

He isn't smiling for long.]

[Action 1]

[The Major is standing on top of one of the cars parked in town. There's, about him. Despite his clear cruelty, his clear madness, there's a type of composure to him. A cool, even headedness.

Right now, that composure is entirely gone. He's hunched like a madman, arms quivering in anger and occasionally shooting out here and there, as if directing orders. The expression on his face isn't outright anger, almost a dull look, but the tone. That is just anger beyond belief.

He can see it. He can see that the masses of London, who he'd believed - no, who he'd known to be pathetic, weak whimpering children....they're standing up. Alongside Hellsing and Anderson's group of Iscariot forces. Standing up and fighting. Standing up and slaughtering his battalion, his single, iron group of hardened soldiers.

Impossible. Unimaginable.]

Fools! What are you doing? What disgrace is this? Get up! Get up! Don't fall in! Perhaps the children might have sticks and stones to pelt you with, but you have blade and bullet! Kill them! Slaughter them!

What are you doing? What are you waiting for? Did you wait with me to die like this, to die like old men like our fellow countrymen did, to be passively ravaged by the mewling children who have been spawned here?

Get up! Push forward! KILL THEM!

[Action 2]

[You're just walking down the street, admiring the lovely day Mayfield is so nice to provide everyone with when BAM!

You're getting grabbed at by a fat little Nazi officer, glaring utter death at you. Whatever you did, whoever he thinks you are? You've pissed him off royally.]

How? You were but a joker, not an ace, not a true winning card, in the hand. How did you do it? Impossible.

It was my victory. It was meant to be mine. Not yours. Mine.
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Well hey there)
[Hey Mayfield. Have some mad giggling. This week? Has just been an utter blast on the Major's end. It takes him a moment before he can compose himself and begin to speak.]

My friends, it has certainly been a trying time this week, has it not? And now, with so many of our fellow citizens deceased [God, he tries so hard to not let his smile slip through into his voice]...well. Desperation can be easy to fall in to.

I suggest, then, that we take a moment to resolve ourselves! Perhaps, in fact, through a bit of prayer.

[And for a moment, the Major is silent, before falling into mock reverence.]

Cut for Blasphemy/Religious content )
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Insane Grin)
A. Around Town

[The Major will be dressed in his police uniform, going about his routine beat during the day. He nods and says hello to people as he passes in his usual pleasant manner.]

Good day! Good day!

I hope you're enjoying yourself today. It would be unfortunate if there should be a wasted day, just as you were a waste of what your mother's womb could've produced.

[Well, alright. Maybe a little more cutting today then usual.]

B. The Park, around 7 PM

[It may not look like it, but the park at this point? Has become a battlefield. While it's usually quiet, there is the occasional shot that rings through the air. After one of them, the Major, who was hiding behind a bench, holding his own gun up at ready, peers up from over it.]

Oh my my, my friend! We both know that even you can do better than that! Would it help perhaps if I were to move a bit closer? Say, within arms reach?

[And another, smiling Major emerges from behind one of the trees, gun at his side.]

Ah, that is the difference between you and I, you see! You prefer to have your hand held. I prefer a challenge.

[And then? They both just laugh. In unison.

And then the one behind the tree reveals the molotov cocktail he had behind the tree with him and throws it towards his doppelganger, the bottle shattering and setting the bench and surrounding grass aflame, the coattails of the Major who had been behind the bench catching ablaze. That Major rolls out of the way, putting the fire out while trying to aim a shot at his copy.

They're both laughing louder now.

Have fun even trying to guess which is which.]
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Well hey there)

Ah, Halloween. A holiday held in high regard by the young and the young in heart alike! I can't help but approve of a holiday such as it, if both for the message of it and the history behind it. Certainly, certainly it's a day that knows what a celebration should be about.

That being said, it is of course my duty as an officer to make sure people are aware of the dangers the holiday possesses! Everyone has certainly heard the tales of people who, being cowards and incapable of actual interesting conflict, have taken to poisoning children with the sweets they hand out. [Even if he doesn't paint the act in a kind light, it's hard not to hear the amusement in the Major's voice at the notion of poisoning kids with candy.] Thus, I must encourage those of you who have children to, of course, check whatever they might bring home.

Of course, I myself will be on patrol that night, so I would heavily discourage any attempts at mischief or mayhem.

[Oh God, please let things go nuts that night. He would adore it.]

And I think it would be important to note by this time that I will be at the Homecoming Dance as well, to ensure everything goes smoothly and safely. No need to thank me, I'm simply doing my job!

Action - Police Station

[What's up fellow men in blue? You'll notice that there's a few large trays of assorted Halloween themed cookies that the Major bought from the bakery. Along with it are two jack-o'-lanterns, one with a bat carved into it and the other with a spider, that the Major has put at the far ends of the station.

As for the man himself, he's currently busy inspecting the jail cells far in the back. He knocks on the bars and inspects the floors, trying to figure out the integrity of the entire thing. And he does this methodically, going to each cell and repeating the process.]

Action - 1667 Nelson

[The Major can be found carving out some jack-o'-lanterns on the front doorstep. He needs something to do as a small aside from his other plans, and well, this is good enough! He currently has a couple of jack-o'-lanterns laid out near the front of the door, each with a different animal such as a bat or spider or wolf or cat carved on the front instead of a face, although the one he's current working on appears to be getting a face.

As he works, he sings a song in his mother tongue, occasionally inspecting the lantern he's working on to make sure it's coming along well.]
sturmbahnfuhrer: (I Love War)
[The call comes early in the morning, around 6:30-7 am when everyone would be having breakfast and getting ready for work and school. Or, uh, should be. Despite how early it is, the Major still sounds as jovial and chipper as always.]

Hello! Good morning! My, quite an exciting last week we had, wasn't it? Certainly, certainly, it reminded me quite a bit of home.

Ah, but that isn't why I'm calling this fine morning! As a public servant, it is my duty to often give messages to the public that might be of interest, and you might expect me to be doing this duty now and then in the next coming months.

But, today, I have a simple message. An educational one, in fact, presented in a way I think might be pleasing to young and old alike.

I call this story "The Fox and the Wolf".

Cut here for story aw yeah )

Tell me, tell me! What lesson do you think we could learn from this story?

[Action: Police Station]

[Hey, you know the new officer? The one a lot of you might know as a complete psycho who wants to spread war?

At the moment he's just happily doing paper work, filing and marking out reports. Bother him?]
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Go Forth)
Well, it seems that once again, the town or another one of our esteemed neighbors has chosen to make things interesting, eh? My, I wonder how many here have experience fighting the living dead? For starters, the idea of going for the brain or the head is true! Fire, as well, could be quite useful.

But of course, I'm sure some of you might have a bit of trouble even then! And as an officer, it is my job to assist those who need it, is it not?

Tell me, does anyone need a police escort to a safe place?

[Filtered to Schrodinger]
Tell me, Schro.

How would you be interested in seeing the inside of a police car?


[To say the current going-ons amused the Major would be an understatement. Not only that, but the speed of his current vehicle made it possible to move around the town and get a view of action elsewhere rather quickly.

So feel free to find the Major either

A) Sitting behind the wheel of his car, possibly just watching you as you struggle to survive or
B) tear assing in his cruiser, mowing down some of the zombies both for the hell of it and because it's simply the quickest route. Perhaps this behavior might even accidentally save you from being a zombie snack at some point. What a great hero.]
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Well hey there)
A. Phone

My fellow citizens, it is my, ah, fine duty to inform all of you that the town has seen fit to make me a police officer in its service. I will, of course, due my best to serve and protect all of my peers in town.

[The utter amusement the Major feels while saying all of this is relatively clear in his voice. For those who don't know him, they might simply think the man is in a good mood. For those who do know him?

They probably realize the cruelty lying right underneath the words.]

For those who are new to the town, as it would appear to be that time of the month, welcome! As much of a cage as this town might be, there are still far worse cages yet, and the town has a tendency to....keep us entertained, I should say! As for myself, I am the Major. If you have any questions about the town, need any assistance, perhaps, please. Feel free to ask. It's my duty, after all, to assist.

[Even more amusement, then, that time he says duty.]

B. Around Town

[If you're walking around today, you'll find the Major in uniform. No, not his usual Nazi regalia, but the actual police uniform he's chosen to wear. He hardly has any intention of wearing the damn thing all the time. But by God, he's hoping it's driving in the point and pissing off the people who do know him.

Every now and again, he'll be coming up to a person. Perhaps you. And speaking.]

Good afternoon. Is all well, I hope?

[It's entertaining, he has to admit, when he does it to the drones since they so automatically know how defer respect to him. Really, he just wants to see how others react.

And if he knows you? You can bet your ass he's coming and doing this to you.]
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Default)
[Well. This is new. And boring, from what he can tell. The town had certainly made better shows before than locking him up in a hotel with complete stranger and no way out. At least, for the moment.

He supposes it isn't all bad. When Eiki wakes up, she can find the Major sitting at one of the chairs across from the bed, already eating some of the free food. He just smiles when he sees the person he's stuck with has awoken.]

My. I'm afraid I haven't made your, ah, acquaintance before, have I?
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Won't Shut Up)
[There's something in the skies today Mayfield. Whatever it is, it's big, as it blackens the sky as it passes overhead. If you look above you, you'll see a large zeppelin with the named "Hindenburg II" on it. It appears to stay over Nelson Street for the most part, circling the neighborhood, but it occasionally drifts to other parts of the town.

For awhile, you'll find the Major watching it. As if following it. Smiling a little to himself as it floats on.]


It is amazing what receiving a small reminder from home might do for morale, isn't it?
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Glancing Skyward)
Action. Locked to 1667 Nelson

[Well it's breakfast time at the Major's household and, as usual, the Major has been making a simple, but adequate breakfast. Waffles, eggs, some hashbrowns. Oh. And there's a nice jug of milk for you this morning with your breakfast when you get up, Usagi.

The Major, for his part, will simply be sitting by his own meal, waiting.]


My, these are certainly interesting times, aren't they! I was rather afraid the town was getting a bit boring again, but as usual it never fails to retain how interesting it is as time goes on!

It's quite curious, isn't it? That the drones at the moment appear to be hostile and retain their weapons and powers, from the reports I'm hearing?

My, it's almost as if it means drones can be weaponized whenever the town wants!

Oh. But of course. That's just a flight of fancy on my part I suppose. Do excuse me.
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Did I mention I'm Evil)
[My, it's quite a nice day, isn't it? A bright, wonderful summer day.

Usually, you wouldn't think much of the short, German man who appears to be enjoying a soda and burger from the local shop and feeding the birds in the park with a package of bread he has with him. The normalcy is ruined by two things. The first is the fact that the man is dressed in full Nazi regalia, minus the jacket and cap. The second is that he appears to be watching the corpse of a teenage girl.]

Cut for possibly triggering imagery due to death/mockery of a dead body )

[And each time the Major sees someone pass by?

He merely waves.]
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Wicked Grin)
[In most cases, the Major would have kept the information he had received from Evan Olney upon his death. But the fact of the matter was that the Major was also a notorious gloater, and to be able to wave the information he received in the faces of others was simply too tempting to resist.

But then again....he hardly intended to just give much of the information out. They'd have to work at it and play with him first, before it got that far.

And so, his cheerful, cruel voice will be broadcasting over the phones yet again.]

Good day, my friends! My, it has certainly been most exciting this past month, hasn't it? Especially now, with two of our long time captors deceased!

For those of you who do not yet know, Evan Olney, or Officer Grady, is dead.

And, a most interesting thing occurred. Our dear Officer looked quite different when I found him dead, then when I found him alive. In fact, this was the same case for Samantha Achewood, or Jane Smith, as well, although the differences in here were not quite as pronounced. Now, isn't that interesting?

It's almost as if droning doesn't just change behavior, but physical appearance as well.

Now don't you just find that fascinating? Imagine the implications. [A small, delighted chuckle here.] Why, if there is a brand of droning that doesn't reconfigure the personality, but the physical appearance of a person as well.....well, who's to say who's who! Not only are memories and histories fabricated, but the very shape of a person as well! And my, who is to say, friends, that this might not even just happen to be the case for you and I?

Isn't. That. Just. Lovely?
sturmbahnfuhrer: (Just Exceedingly Pleased)

My, it is certainly amazing what can come out when a little force is applied to people to make them speak the truth. My heart leaps with joy to see all of you finally practice a bit of honesty instead of the usual delusions you seem to practice and force yourselves to act out in the pathetic, dull lives you've somehow managed to even have here. Perhaps many of you had no desire to reveal what you said, but there is a certain security, a certain comfort that comes from revealing what you are to the world, yes? It was something I discovered long ago, and is why I practice to be a man of complete honesty where myself is concerned. I hardly see as to why so many of you are bothered by it.

And, before I forget, my most sincere congratulations to the young lady who managed to kill me a week or so ago! It was certainly an entertaining battle, one I hadn't had since this March. Your actual form and ability left a bit to be desired, but I suppose you're young and will improve as you mature. Although our current squabble might be done, I hope, certainly, that we will have reason to cross swords once again.


[You can find the Major wandering around today. He mainly seems to be looking around the park and, well, through gardens, as well as going to the florist. He seems to be examining each plant carefully, as if he's looking for something.]


sturmbahnfuhrer: (Default)
The Major

December 2011

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